(As in: "nunya" business.)
Today I am one month away from my due date. (Which means that I could technically go into labor at any point starting next week and still be considered "full term", fyi. Due dates are so over-rated.) There have been many things that have surprised me about pregnancy, especially in my last trimester. How I can press on the top of my foot and it leaves a little indentation (Mom says its called "pitting edema" or something like that. I think it's called "fat feet disease"). How time can fly by and drag all within one day. How I can still teach my classes and feel confident that my students are learning, even with less than stellar demonstration from me. How much I miss lying on my stomach. How much STUFF a baby needs. But I think the thing that I has surprised me the most is how entitled people feel to comment on my pregnancy. Strange people. In grocery stores and fast food restaurants and parking lots.
Now, people warned me about this. Or at least mentioned that strangers would come up and touch me without being invited to do so. But it's not the touching that bothers me (and really, not many people have tried to "pet the baby" without asking me first, so it hasn't been as much of an issue). It's the unsolicited commentary and the endless repeated questions. I think I'm going to start wearing a sandwich board (with a hole cut out in the front, of course) that says:
DUE: November (the date is not important, people, but it is the 14th since you all need to mark it on your personal calendars).
GENDER: Unknown (Yes, on purpose.)
TWINS: No. It is one baby. Just one. In my massive stomach, there is but one child. Hard to believe?
That should cover the questions. As for the comments about how huge I am and how there have GOT to be at least 8 babies in there that were actually due last week. When people widen their eyes and say "November? A whole MONTH to go?" or (one of my favorite phrases) "you are about to POP, aren't you?". Or exhale loudly through their mouths in a way that seems to say "good luck with that" in a very insincere and obnoxious way. For them I will turn around to show the back of my sandwich board with a giant middle finger on it.