Big things are happening here in "twenty-something"-ville. Namely, remember how I've been talking about how my life has been kind of directionless and boring this summer? How there have been many days of nothing-to-do blues? Well today I find myself looking ahead a few hours to the moment where classes officially begin at the studio. I've been trying to decided how I feel about that moment. And the moments to follow where those classes continue to happen. Joe asked me if I was excited to go back to work and seemed unimpressed and unconvinced by my "uh... yeeeah" response, but I AM excited. Really and truly. I am so ready to get back to having a routine and a schedule and a purpose to my days. It makes the days where I have nothing to do really important, as opposed to dread-filled and monotonous. I am also ready to get back to my students, especially the ones who were begging for an extra advanced ballet class this year, even if it had to be from 8-9 on a Tuesday (I mean, who would not love to teach kids like that?).
But there is some anxiety as I sit here on the couch with my highlited class schedule beside me. And every year there is anxiety, because that is just who I am (I blame my mother. Sorry, Mom.) and I always feel a little antsy until I know exactly how everything is going to go down. But this year the anxiety is a little more... um... anxious. Mostly because of that whole having-a-baby-in-2-months-or-so thing. And that whole teaching-ballet-while-looking-and-feeling-kind-of-like-a-walrus thing.
So I tried to alleviate some of my anxiety by being PREPARED. Because I find in most instances it makes me feel better to know that, at least on my end, things are PREPARED. So I bought myself a pretty new notebook and some pretty new mechanical pencils (school supplies always help anxiety as well) and have been filling it with notes and ideas for new exercises and interesting combinations I found on youtube and syllabi for my younger students.
And this preparedness has helped. With the class part. Not so much the baby-coming part. For that though, I had my first baby shower this weekend. And talk about something making you feel more PREPARED... there is nothing quite like sitting in a newly-upholstered rocking chair surrounded by PILES of new baby stuff to make you feel like maybe you are actually getting ready to bring a newborn into your home. Not to mention being surrounded by women who are wonderful mothers and friends and role models, all smiling at you like they are just certain that you are ready for this and you are going to take these piles of stuff they have given you and do with them whatever it is you do when you are a mother and you will do it well, by golly. That amount of generosity and enouragement and faith really goes a long way in the preparation department.
But regardless of my state of readiness, both of these things are happening. Classes will start today, with children pouring into the studio in their new, clean leotards and their untied ballet shoes, some of them as anxious as I am, all of them excited. I will carry my new notebook and my case of CDs into the classroom and introduce myself as "Miss Greer" and slip back into the trappings of that part of my identity. The notebook will be helpful, probably more as a crutch and a reminder, and within a few weeks I will have forgotten what it's like to NOT be teaching every week.
And then, as the weather cools, my body will be doing its own work getting prepared. And my first child will make its debut into the world, greeted by tired, ecstatic, anxious parents, grandparents already so full of love and pride they could burst, aunts planning the millions of ways they are going to spoil and teach and play with their new little neice or nephew, and all of those women and men who bestowed gifts upon its mother ready to help when needed. And all of the stuff that is collecting in the nursery will be helpful, and will act as a crutch and a reminder, and within a few weeks I will have forgotten what it's like to NOT be a mother.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
... except real
Ok, I know I already posted my ridiculous linkage for the week, but I just couldn't resist sharing this goody that I found on one of my friend's facebook pages. Could this possibly, actually be for real?
In other news, I will (most likely) post an entry involving words and thoughts that do not link to a ridiculous video or webpage (maybe) in the next few days (probably).
In other news, I will (most likely) post an entry involving words and thoughts that do not link to a ridiculous video or webpage (maybe) in the next few days (probably).
hoff clone and possessed choir boys
In honor of my previous Weblink Wednesday post, here are some videos pretty much guaranteed to make you "mad", Christin-style. Both are "literal videos", where some very bored, moderately clever internet geek took weird music videos and set literal lyrics to them. The "Total Eclipse" one is definitely the best I have seen, but the "Hooked on a Feeling" video (with none other than THE David Hasslehoff!) is really just so ridiculous... there are no words. Literal or otherwise. Enjoy!
(And I'm sorry, but no, you will never get back these 5 or 10 minutes of your life.)
(And yes, there are more literal videos. Lots.)
(And I'm sorry, but no, you will never get back these 5 or 10 minutes of your life.)
(And yes, there are more literal videos. Lots.)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
what day is it?
Oh yes, that's right... it's WEBLINK WEDNESDAY!!!
(fanfare)
Let me introduce the link-o'-the-day by telling you a little bit about my dear friend Christin. I first met Christin when I was at an age where you don't really remember meeting people. So really, it seems like I have never NOT known her. We went to elementary school together, danced (and danced and danced) together, shared friends and drama and strife and woe together in middle/high school, suffered losses together, she was in my wedding... you get the idea. I've known this girl a while. And so it is funny to me when I was thinking about describing her in this blog entry that I find it a rather difficult thing to do. I think that is in part because there is SO MUCH Christin. Those of you who know her will know what I mean by that, and those of you that don't know her probably know someone else who fits that description. She is just always going and doing and thinking and creating and wondering and challenging and protesting and discovering... it's wonderful. And a bit exhausting for her, I'm sure. So basically she's just a wonderful fireball creative force to be reckoned with. Who happens to be half Puerto Rican... and a fair skinned redhead. (See what I mean? SO MUCH Christin.)
So this fireball friend of mine recently started a blog. And you know how I love me some blogs. But this is not your typical "here is what I did today and how I feel about it" kind of blog, which are the kind I tend to gravitate to. No, this is a blog started by Christin. And therefore it must be... unique. So her blog is filled with things that might make a person "mad". But not the kind of mad you're thinking of. More in a "this is so ridiculous I can't even stand it and now I am MAD about it" way. It makes sense in a way that things that Christin comes up with make sense... you gotta see it.
(fanfare)
Let me introduce the link-o'-the-day by telling you a little bit about my dear friend Christin. I first met Christin when I was at an age where you don't really remember meeting people. So really, it seems like I have never NOT known her. We went to elementary school together, danced (and danced and danced) together, shared friends and drama and strife and woe together in middle/high school, suffered losses together, she was in my wedding... you get the idea. I've known this girl a while. And so it is funny to me when I was thinking about describing her in this blog entry that I find it a rather difficult thing to do. I think that is in part because there is SO MUCH Christin. Those of you who know her will know what I mean by that, and those of you that don't know her probably know someone else who fits that description. She is just always going and doing and thinking and creating and wondering and challenging and protesting and discovering... it's wonderful. And a bit exhausting for her, I'm sure. So basically she's just a wonderful fireball creative force to be reckoned with. Who happens to be half Puerto Rican... and a fair skinned redhead. (See what I mean? SO MUCH Christin.)
So this fireball friend of mine recently started a blog. And you know how I love me some blogs. But this is not your typical "here is what I did today and how I feel about it" kind of blog, which are the kind I tend to gravitate to. No, this is a blog started by Christin. And therefore it must be... unique. So her blog is filled with things that might make a person "mad". But not the kind of mad you're thinking of. More in a "this is so ridiculous I can't even stand it and now I am MAD about it" way. It makes sense in a way that things that Christin comes up with make sense... you gotta see it.
Monday, August 17, 2009
six
Six years ago, I was working at GapKids, folding and re-folding (and re-folding...) tiny t-shirts and jeans and re-stocking jelly sandals and baby hats.
Six years ago, I was in between my first two years at Berry, feeling more comfortable with the idea of being a college student but still tied to my home in Augusta.
Six years ago, I was redefining myself within my relationships, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.
Six years ago, I got a phone call from my father. I left mid-shift, probably mid-shirtfold, at GapKids, rushed to the home that was still my home although I only lived there for a few months of the year, and was faced with news that would change how I defined myself forever.
Six years ago, I had to make a lot of phone calls to share the news that I didn't want to believe, let alone pass on.
Six years ago, I lost one of the most amazing and talented people I have ever known. Someone who I looked up to like a brother, respected as an artist, and loved as one of my dearest friends.
And today, six years later, I miss him still.
Six years ago, I was in between my first two years at Berry, feeling more comfortable with the idea of being a college student but still tied to my home in Augusta.
Six years ago, I was redefining myself within my relationships, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.
Six years ago, I got a phone call from my father. I left mid-shift, probably mid-shirtfold, at GapKids, rushed to the home that was still my home although I only lived there for a few months of the year, and was faced with news that would change how I defined myself forever.
Six years ago, I had to make a lot of phone calls to share the news that I didn't want to believe, let alone pass on.
Six years ago, I lost one of the most amazing and talented people I have ever known. Someone who I looked up to like a brother, respected as an artist, and loved as one of my dearest friends.
And today, six years later, I miss him still.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
beach babies
This past weekend marked yet another pregnancy/life milestone for me... my final vacation as a free and independent woman with no one to worry about but herself and maybe a dog or two. The absolute truth of that statement was put into extreme focus for me by the fact that I shared said vacation with my two lovely friends and their adorable 6 month old baby girl. First let it be said that there are few things more delightful than happy baby, let alone a happy baby at the beach discovering that big old bathtub that is the ocean.
But I did have moments when I realized just how different my future vacations would be. As I watched the Bridges family experience their first beach trip together, I couldn't help but catalog all of the ways that the very meaning of the word "vacation" changes from pre- to post-baby.
1. Packing. Gone are the days of shoving summer clothing and a bathing suit into a duffel bag (although I'm not really sure that Katie ever could have packed that way... still.). Due to car difficulties, we were forced to find ways to cram an unbelievable amount of stuff into small spaces, which only made it even more abundantly clear just how much STUFF we had to take. There's the diaper bag and the pack-and-play and the bumbo seat and the bouncy chair and the stroller and the car seat and the other bag and the suitcase... And I stood there studying my bag of dog food and my duffel bag fondly, realizing that they would soon just be one of many bags being stuffed into the trunk whenever we travel.
2. Driving. Again, because of car issues this became more of a problem for us than it might have been otherwise. But the fact that both Katie and I were lusting after VANS is very telling. And you can't just up and leave whenever the mood strikes you either... there is some serious scheduling to be considered.
3. Sleeping in. It doesn't happen. Which is just a sad, sad thing.
4. Eating out. A leisurely, quiet meal at a river-side cafe is very different when you throw a baby in the mix. Of course since she's so stinkin' cute a number of people have to come up and tell you how stinkin' cute she is. And then there is the pacifier throwing and the squealing and the "Wait... what time did she eat? Do you think she's tired? Have you checked her diaper?".
5. Relaxing on the beach. After slathering on sunscreen in triple-digit SPF, loading a wagon full of chairs and an umbrella, and treking down to the shore, I usually look forward to a good couple hours of sitting and doing nothing, perhaps interrupted by a stroll along the waterline. But you have to consider diaper changes and eating schedules and how hot the baby might be, even in the shade of the wobbly umbrella, and whether or not the stroller will roll well enough on the sand. This got me to thinking about the time in the not so distant future when we have not just babies with us but KIDS. Kids who can TALK and WALK and express their needs and wants and opinions and tell you that they are BORED with sitting. I have a feeling that will be an even longer blog entry...
6. Leaving to go back home. Katie and Stephen were already discussing plans for a "real vacation" when they could leave the baby with grandparents. So they could do some of that wonderful sleeping in, eating out stuff. I wonder if my parents have plans for next summer...
But I did have moments when I realized just how different my future vacations would be. As I watched the Bridges family experience their first beach trip together, I couldn't help but catalog all of the ways that the very meaning of the word "vacation" changes from pre- to post-baby.
1. Packing. Gone are the days of shoving summer clothing and a bathing suit into a duffel bag (although I'm not really sure that Katie ever could have packed that way... still.). Due to car difficulties, we were forced to find ways to cram an unbelievable amount of stuff into small spaces, which only made it even more abundantly clear just how much STUFF we had to take. There's the diaper bag and the pack-and-play and the bumbo seat and the bouncy chair and the stroller and the car seat and the other bag and the suitcase... And I stood there studying my bag of dog food and my duffel bag fondly, realizing that they would soon just be one of many bags being stuffed into the trunk whenever we travel.
2. Driving. Again, because of car issues this became more of a problem for us than it might have been otherwise. But the fact that both Katie and I were lusting after VANS is very telling. And you can't just up and leave whenever the mood strikes you either... there is some serious scheduling to be considered.
3. Sleeping in. It doesn't happen. Which is just a sad, sad thing.
4. Eating out. A leisurely, quiet meal at a river-side cafe is very different when you throw a baby in the mix. Of course since she's so stinkin' cute a number of people have to come up and tell you how stinkin' cute she is. And then there is the pacifier throwing and the squealing and the "Wait... what time did she eat? Do you think she's tired? Have you checked her diaper?".
5. Relaxing on the beach. After slathering on sunscreen in triple-digit SPF, loading a wagon full of chairs and an umbrella, and treking down to the shore, I usually look forward to a good couple hours of sitting and doing nothing, perhaps interrupted by a stroll along the waterline. But you have to consider diaper changes and eating schedules and how hot the baby might be, even in the shade of the wobbly umbrella, and whether or not the stroller will roll well enough on the sand. This got me to thinking about the time in the not so distant future when we have not just babies with us but KIDS. Kids who can TALK and WALK and express their needs and wants and opinions and tell you that they are BORED with sitting. I have a feeling that will be an even longer blog entry...
6. Leaving to go back home. Katie and Stephen were already discussing plans for a "real vacation" when they could leave the baby with grandparents. So they could do some of that wonderful sleeping in, eating out stuff. I wonder if my parents have plans for next summer...
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