Monday, November 23, 2009
I don't know how to write about my baby. I've kept coming back to my blog site whenever there is a quiet moment, knowing that I need to write something to document these first few weeks... my feelings, my fears, my wonder at this new little life that has entered the world and shaken everyone up. Each day seems to go by in slow three-hour blocks, and then suddenly I blink and it's been almost 2 weeks. She is nothing if not a lesson on the relativity of time. I know I will miss these times, even as some moments I fervently wish to skip ahead to when she can talk and tell me what she wants or needs. I try to freeze frame little snapshots of her in my mind...
curled up on her daddy's chest, sleeping with her mouth wide open (pacifier free... now THAT is real sleep);
lifting her wobbly head to try and look around the room, looking like a frantic little turtle;
squirming and fussing in her bouncy chair until suddenly inexplicably settling, her hands floating down like little spiders to settle by her sides, her head tilted at an impossible angle;
her feet pulled up close to her body so that the ends of her onesie are empty, making her appear footless;
swaddled like a little glow worm, only her head peeking out, lying right in the middle of her crib, making it look like a huge expanse of space relative to her tiny bundled body;
opening her eyes occasionally and seeming to really see that I am there, or recognize my voice among other voices, or calm down when she comes to rest on my chest... and feeling like a mother.